New Zealand has one of the worst rates of family violence in the world.
Not just that. 80% of family violence incidents go unreported
The state of play
So just what is family violence?
Family violence (also known as domestic violence, family violence or partner violence) is a pattern of abusive behaviour in an intimate relationship that over time puts one person in a position of power over another and causes fear. It is often referred to as a pattern of coercion and control. The violence may be physical, sexual, emotional/psychological, financial/economic or spiritual.
Why do women stay in abusive relationships?
What sort of person commits family violence?
There is no one personality type that typifies an abuser. Outwardly to friends and colleagues they can seem like the nicest people. That said, abusers tend to share some or all of the following traits:
What are the signs I'm in a relationship with an abuser?
Violence is a choice
Violence is used to:
Violence is not just physical. It includes threats, intimidation, put-downs, humiliation, sexual abuse, twisting of words or playing mind games.
Violence is frequently blamed on poverty, upbringing, anger, alcohol, drugs, lack of communication, jealousy, mental illness, stress, illness and lack of education.
But many people experience these without using violence.
Most people who use violence at home are able to be calm, patient people outside of home.
Many victims of family violence talk about how the person abusing them can switch to their nice side if visitors suddenly arrive.
How we can help you-today
Abuse is NEVER your fault. No matter what your abuser says or how they make you feel.
We have a member Network of organisations who are just a phone call or visit away. If you or your children are victims of any type of family violence, ACT NOW. Contact the agency that has the service you require.
If you are in serious, immediate danger, dial 111 NOW. If you are unsure who you should contact and your situation is URGENT, phone 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 or talk to Wellington Women’s Refuge or Te Whare Rokiroki Māori Women’s Refuge.
In 2019/20 Women’s Refuges received 42,510 crisis calls which is 116 calls per day.
In 2019/20 Women’s Refuges provided 61,763 bed nights in safe houses and 3,160 bed nights in emergency accommodation. 32% of bed nights were for children under 5 and 30% for children age 5 – 9.