New Zealand has the highest rate of domestic violence in the world
Not just that. 80% of domestic and family violence incidents go unreported
The state of play
Family violence can take place in any home or community. It happens in rural and urban areas, within all age, religious and ethnic groups, and across the whole socio-economic landscape.
Whatever your culture or background, you’ve got the right to ask for help.
So just what is domestic violence?
Domestic and family violence (also known as domestic violence, family violence or partner violence) is a pattern of abusive behaviour in an intimate relationship that over time puts one person in a position of power over another and causes fear. It is often referred to a pattern of coercion and control. The violence may be physical, sexual, emotional/psychological, financial/economic or spiritual.
Why do women stay in abusive relationships?
What sort of person commits family violence?
There is no one personality type that typifies an abuser. Outwardly to friends and colleagues they can seem like the nicest people. That said, abusers tend to share some or all of the following traits:
What are the signs I'm in a relationship with an abuser?
Violence is a choice
Violence is used to:
Violence is not just physical. It includes threats, intimidation, put-downs, humiliation, sexual abuse, twisting of words or playing mind games.
Violence is frequently blamed on poverty, upbringing, anger, alcohol, drugs, lack of communication, jealousy, mental illness, stress, illness and lack of education.
But many people experience these without using violence.
Most people who use violence at home are able to be calm, patient people outside of home.
Many victims of domestic violence talk about how the person abusing them can switch to their nice side if visitors suddenly arrive.
For more information on family violence
The New Zealand Family Violence Clearinghouse is your national centre for family and whanau violence research and information. On the NZFVC website, you’ll find the latest family and whānau violence information such as research, resources, statistics, policy and legislation. You’ll also find events such as training, seminars, conferences and community activities around the country.
A searchable online database provides access to hundreds of articles, reports and resources online. Use the quick topic search to find research on particular issues. We encourage you to subscribe to the NZFVC mailing lists to receive regular updates.
How we can help you-today
Abuse is NEVER your fault. No matter what your abuser says or how they make you feel.
We have a member Network of organisations who are just a phone call or visit away. If you or your children are victims of family violence, ACT NOW. Contact the agency that has the service you require.
If you are in serious, immediate danger, dial 111 NOW. If you are unsure who you should contact and your situation is URGENT, phone 0800 REFUGE or 0800 733 843 to talk to Wellington Women’s Refuge or Te Whare Rokiroki, Màori Women’s Refuge.
New Zealand has the worst rate of family violence and intimate-partner violence in the world. A shocking 80% of incidents go unreported.
In 2015, NZ Police attended 105, 000 family violence incidents. If all incidents were reported, they would have attended at least 525, 000 calls for help.